Reflecting on the Journey

I've been wanting to write this post for some time now, yet every time I sat down the words just wouldn't come.  Perhaps it just wasn't the time for it before now. I've had so many thoughts and emotions tumbling around in my head and heart for the past few days as I watched J's excitement over his success at achieving his goal to play college baseball.  I can't help reflecting on the journey that has brought him to this point.

The journey of course began when J was small and we signed him up for Little League.  My dad was his coach for 6 of his nine years of  Little League, laying the foundation for what would become a lifelong love of the sport.  J loved his Little League years for the most part, even the disappointments he faced.  And there were disappointments.  More times than once he was passed over for All Stars or told he just didn't have what it takes to be a star.  And while those disappointments hurt at the time, they ultimately fueled J's determination to never give up on his dream.  My heart broke for my boy every time he faced one of those disappointments; there were times when I was almost consumed by anger towards the people crushing his young heart.  But J just kept working and soon left Little League behind for high school ball, where I naively thought we would leave behind the politics and games of Little League.  If anything, it was worse and that anger turned to outright rage as once again J had to deal with disappointments and set backs.  There were many times I would have unleashed that rage on J's behalf yet he always asked me not to.  Hard as it was I bit my tongue and let J deal with the situation, taking solace in his winning attitude, no matter the circumstances.  Coach C was a huge help, allowing me to vent my frustrations as often as I needed, and reassuring me that everything would be okay.  Speaking of Coach C, J's high school years led us to TP, which were the best years of J's baseball career to date.  Those two summer seasons with Coach C honed J into the player he is today.  And of course, for J and for all of us, the best thing we took away from TP is Coach C himself, who has truly become part of our family.   And now, J is on the threshold of the most exciting time in his baseball career yet, college ball.  Sitting in the coach's office Friday, listening to what he had to say about the program, his goals for the team, and what he expects from J was a little surreal.  I was so nervous it's a wonder I didn't topple right off the couch I was perched on.  And when the coach told J what scholarship amount he could offer him and asked if he wanted to be a part of Belmont Abbey baseball it took everything I had not to burst into tears.  Especially when before answering J looked at me, with every baseball dream he's ever had clearly visible in his eyes, waiting for my nod of approval.  I gladly gave him that approval, blinking back tears, as I watched and listened to my boy accept the opportunity he's worked a lifetime to have.

Officially A Crusader

As a parent,  I am always proud of my kids. But there are times when that pride fills me up to near bursting. Today was one of those times.  I posted a few months back about J having a college interested in having him play baseball for them next year.  He's emailed with the coach several times, but we hadn't heard anything definite back.  Until today.  It so happened that Belmont Abbey College was having an Open House this weekend.  So I decided to bring J up for a closer look at the school.  He notified the baseball coach we were coming and had the opportunity to meet with both the head and assistant coaches today.  And I am thrilled to announce that my J is now officially a Crusader, having verbally committed to attend Belmont Abbey and play baseball next year.  For those who have followed J's baseball journey on this blog, you know how much this means to us all. To say I am proud of him is not nearly an adequate enough expression for all I am feeling.  I am full to bursting.  With pride, joy, excitement, and even a little sadness, for the realization of J's dream will take him away from those who love him the most.  Yet the joy far outweighs the sadness.  For so long I've watched J working towards his dream, never wavering in his determination.  I've cried watching him suffer disappointments and set backs.  I've shared the thrill of his many successes.  And I've had the privilege to watch him grow from the tiny boy who wanted to be a baseball player into a young man who is a baseball player in his very soul.  Sitting in that coach's office today, I experienced one of my most joyful moments as a mother, watching J as he accepted the chance to live out his dream.  It's a moment that will stay with me forever.

More words from Coach C

In the weeks since my last post, a lot has happened for J.  He was accepted into Belmont Abbey College. BAC is the school that is interested in having J play for them next year.  In fact, we've progressed to the point that they are putting together a financial aid package for him.  He's thrilled to have this opportunity and is looking forward to hearing from the coach there soon.  In addition to being accepted at BAC and being offered the chance to play baseball there, J has also been accepted into Saint Leo University here in Florida. We're not sure yet if baseball will be a possibility there; we're waiting to hear from the coach.  In the coming weeks, J will have some big decisions to make regarding his college plans.  Which brings me to the point of this post.  Two years ago, I asked Coach C to do a guest post regarding his thoughts on J's training and progress.  If you missed that post the first time around, you can read it here: A Word From Coach C.  So much has been happening for J lately that I thought everyone would enjoy hearing from Coach C again.  He was all set to do another guest post when he sent us the letter of recommendation that he wrote for J.  He sent it to me via email, which I opened and read while sitting at dance class waiting for A.  It took approximately 15 seconds for the tears to start pouring.  As a parent, one of the things I hope for is for my children to be fortunate enough to have people in their lives who appreciate their gifts, support them in their dreams, and above all else, love and respect who they are.  When I read Coach C's letter, it only reinforced what I already knew, that J has all of those things in Coach C.  So instead of having him write another  guest post, I asked him if I could simply post the beautiful letter of recommendation he wrote for J.  He agreed, so I will let it speak for itself.  I omitted J and Coach C's full names for privacy.  Other than that, the letter is exactly as Coach C wrote it.

To Whom It May Concern:

            The dictionary defines the word superlative as being of the highest kind, quality, or order. Surpassing all others, and in doing so reigns supreme. I define the word superlative as J.M.: an ambitious young man of the highest kind, quality, and order. A person whose dedication to the betterment of humankind surpasses all others, and whose compassion for his life and the lives of those around him, reigns supreme.

            I first had the pleasure of meeting J when he tried out as a freshman for my travel baseball organization. As both a catcher and a corner infielder, I was thoroughly impressed with his arm strength, soft hands, and seemingly advanced knowledge of the game for someone of his age. First and foremost, J is one of the last of a dying breed: a true leader of his peers. His happy go lucky attitude and fierce playing style inspired his teammates on numerous occasions to push themselves to limits they never knew they could reach. He displayed a love of learning that was refreshing to me, and in him I saw much of myself at his age. From day one I was very excited with his unyielding drive to better not only himself, but also all those who surrounded him. At the plate he led a fairly young 16 and under team by example, constantly coming through when his team needed him the most.

Over the past few years I have come to view him as a young person with tremendous potential—a guaranteed future leader. His intellectual and scholastic success, coupled with his commitment to his team, masterful leadership abilities, creative drive, and unshakable will, form a foundation for future full of possibilities.

            However, while his accomplisments are outstanding to say the least, they pale in comparison to his most shining attribute: his awe-inspiring ability to inspire. From my experience with this exceptional young person, I have come to learn that J does not purely plan, but acts. Does not simply succeed, but excels. Does not solely enhance his own life, but enriches the lives of all he touches. To truly understand what makes this remarkable young man so successful, one must only look to the words of Mr. Mark Twain: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” J.M. is among these select few that we deem as great in our society, not merely because of his wide array of impressive accomplishments, but because he has been blessed with the capacity to inspire the ordinary to aspire to the extraordinary. He has been endowed with an unparalleled ability to make others feel through example that, they too, can become great: and in a world where it is quite easy to get caught up solely in the affairs of one’s self, this level of maturity is unrivaled and of incalculable value.

            If you have the opportunity to meet this incredible young man, please do so. I promise you will not regret it, because words simply cannot measure such an immeasurable degree of character. We owe this shining star all the support we can give, because the world deserves, desires, and desperately needs leaders of his kind, quality, and order. I assure you that your program emulates all the values that make him the remarkable young person he is today, and that in any tasks you require of him, he will reign supreme. With all this being said, I recommend to you, unconditionally, Mr. J.M. I know that he will make as large an impact on your lives as he has made on my own. Thank you for your time.

Best Regards,

Coach C

Head Coach Top Prospects 16u

When Little Boy Dreams Become A Young Man's Reality

I am sitting here with tears glistening in my eyes as I type this post.  I've had tears in my eyes for much of the past two days as I debated whether or not to write this post.  But since J has been sharing his news all over Instagram and Facebook I guess I can share it, too.  Just before Thanksgiving, J attended a camp at a small college located in North Carolina.  It's a college that had been on his list of possibles to apply to and he took the opportunity to tour the campus while there for the camp.  He really liked the school and felt it would be a good fit for him.  As always when he attends a camp, he hoped he had left the coaches with a positive impression of his abilities.  On Tuesday, he received an email that confirmed he had in fact, done just that. You see, my J, who has dreamed of baseball since he was a tiny boy, who has worked tirelessly over the past several years to make that dream a reality, has a college interested in having him play for them.  I saw the email first, since his email comes to my phone these days.  With all of the college info, camp info, etc it ensures that nothing gets missed.  My heart stopped when I read the email.  I had to read it several times just to make sure I was reading it correctly.  I immediately forwarded it to Coach C, who was as ecstatic as I was.  I couldn't wait for J to see it, so when I got off work mid day I drove to the high school and had him pulled out of PE class.  He came to the office, a little worried when he saw me.  I quickly assured him nothing was wrong and handed him my phone so he could read the email.  If someones face can actually explode with joy, J's did in the moment when he realized what he was looking at.  And then my almost grown up boy, the one who has become stingy with hugs in the past several years, enveloped me in the biggest bear hug I've ever received. He was laughing and crying all at once, so excited he could hardly stand still.   It's a moment I'll cherish forever, getting to be there when my baby was handed his most heartfelt dream.  However, there is still much work to be done.  While this coach is definitely interested, no offer has been made yet.  He states that he hopes to continue the recruiting process with J.  Luckily for J, Coach C already had plans to come to our house for dinner tonight.  He asked if J minded waiting to respond to the email until he could be here to help him write it.  J, of course, welcomed Coach C's input and they crafted and sent a response tonight.  So now we wait for the coach to respond and see where this will lead.

To say we're proud of J doesn't come close to describing the emotions we're all experiencing. Everyone, hubby, me, N, A, his grandparents, friends we've told, are so happy for him.  And of course, Coach C is as proud, maybe even more so, than we are.  He and J, and that special bond, always hit me right in the heart and that was certainly true tonight.  Watching them work on the email, talk about where J goes from here, and just seeing the sheer excitement they shared gave me more than one misty moment.  For this victory is as much Coach C's as it is J's, though he humbly gives J all the credit.  But we know J couldn't have made it this far without him. For so long we've worked and focused on getting J to this point, knowing that it was a long shot.  To have this opportunity present itself is tremendous.  As always, J is willing to keep working hard to prove himself worthy of the interest this coach has shown. Coach C has already laid out the next phase of his training, advised him on how to proceed with his upcoming school season, and most importantly of all, continues to believe in J and be his strongest supporter.  And what can I say about this all?  I'm filled with pride at everything J has accomplished.  He chose this path so long ago, and never let anything deter him.   Along the way there have been setbacks, people who told him he wasn't good enough or that making his dream a reality would be too hard.  He just kept working toward his goal, never losing sight of what he wanted.  And now, someone has laid his dream, like a gift, in his hands.  It's his for the taking and as a mother I am privileged to have been on this journey with him.  I'm overjoyed my baby got his moment, the moment when he realized that dreams can come true if you believe in yourself enough to make it happen.  As Coach C said to me, it's been J's drive, determination, blood, sweat, and tears that made this happen.  And we're damn proud of him for it.        

Top Ten Baseball Moments

J just finished his final fall baseball season.  He played tremendously well, finishing off his season with a batting average of .522.  It was a little sad knowing that he has one spring season left.  Hopefully after that it will be on to college ball, but we're still quite a ways from knowing how that will work out.  As always, being the overly sentimental mama that I am, I've been recalling a lot of moments from his nearly 14 years on the field.  I decided to share my top ten.

10.) J's excitement the first year he signed up for t-ball.  I can still picture him with holding his shiny new bat, his tiny glove, and the smile that never leaves his face when he's playing ball.

9.)  His first "home run" during the last game of his first t-ball season.  He smacked the ball to the fence and rounded the bases with all the speed his little five year old legs could muster.  Then he slid home, that smile growing even wider.

8.)  His second season in minor division Little League.  That season truly personified everything that youth baseball should be about.  We had a great little team with fantastic kids and parents and it will always be one of my favorites.

7.)  His excitement when he received a first baseman's mitt.  To him that meant he was really and truly a first baseman.  He used that glove from ages 9-14, when his hand finally outgrew it.  I have it put away in his keepsake box, never to be thrown away.  

6. )  In 2010, J attended a Baseball Factory try out and was selected to attend a national training camp in Cape Cod.  He was one of only 90 kids chosen and I think that is the year that the idea that he would make baseball his life's goal really took root.  It had always been there, but that camp clinched it.  I cried when I put him on the plane because I could see all the dreams in his eyes and I wanted so badly to help him make them a reality.

5.)  His first try out for the high school team as a freshman.  He was so nervous that the day they posted the list and his name was on it, he wasn't sure if that meant he had made it or been cut.  He called me from school to tell me his name was on the list and his voice was shaking with nerves and excitement.

4.)  The day he tried out for TP and met Coach C.  I couldn't foresee how it would turn out, but right from the start, I knew there was something special there.

3.)  His final tournament for TP when he hit a game changing line drive that spurred TP onto to their second championship.  I will never forget the smile on his face as he stood on first base with Coach K next to him.  I have a picture of it and it remains one of my favorite pictures from all his years in baseball.

2.)  During the above mentioned game, once he returned to the dug out, Coach C came over to the fence.  J was on the inside of the dug out, Coach C on the outside.  They put their hands up on the fence, palms together.  Coach C looked him in the eye and said, "Way to be clutch." They probably don't even remember it, but it made me cry then and still makes me get misty recalling it.  In that moment the love and respect they share as player, coach, and friends was stamped on both of their faces.  They'll laugh at me when they read this, but I don't care.  It was a moment I'll never forget.

1.)  The other day, J and I were in the car, discussing some opportunities he has coming up to further his chances of playing in college.  I asked him what he truly felt his chances were and this is what he said, as close as I can recall it, "I think I have as good a chance as anybody out there to play in college.  I've worked hard and will keep on working hard until I know I've done absolutely everything I can to make it happen.  I'm not finished playing yet and it's going to happen."

I have many more favorite moments, but these are the ones I treasure the most.  This year is flying by so fast and I am finding myself overwhelmed by sentiment and emotion.  I'll update soon on what J's up to these days but for now I'll just say he's one step closer to making the dream a reality.        

Hello!

It seems that a couple of months have managed to sneak by and it's suddenly November.  This school year is keeping us busier than usual, especially since I am now working part time as a pre-k 3 teacher at A and N's school.  I'm really enjoying my little class of 8 three year olds.  More on that in a future post I'm sure!  The kids are busy with all of the normal activities.  J just completed both his final swim season and his fall baseball season.  He's working on college applications and has some upcoming camps and showcases.  N is singing, playing piano, and staking gymnastics.  He's also student teaching for younger boys at gymnastics.  A continues to be our little twirling princess and gets sassier everyday.  I will be making a concentrated effort to get back to regular postings!  So stay tuned!

Going For It

One week from today, J will begin his senior year of high school.  One short year and my baby will take his first flight out of the nest.  It's an exciting time as he works on college applications, makes plans for the future, and of course, continues to reach for those baseball dreams he's been chasing since he was four years old. I'll be the first to admit that J's dream is a little unconventional.  It's certainly not the most practical, nor is it going to change the world.  But it's his dream, one that he's refused to give up on for the past 14 years.  Oh back when he was just a little boy I'm sure it didn't have the meaning for him that it does now.  But somewhere along the line, baseball became his heart and he's never wavered in his determination.  Now, hubby and I did make it clear that while we were willing to support his dream in any way we could, we weren't willing to let him pin everything on something that was such a huge long shot.  The deal was he had to have a valid fall back plan.  It took him a little while but he finally worked his way around to deciding to study sports business when he gets to college.  If he can't play ball, he wants to at least make a living being involved in baseball.

So that's his plan. Earn a sports business degree while hopefully playing college baseball.  And he still dreams of a shot at the big leagues.  Again, a long shot, but my boy is nothing if not determined.  J is a kid who has to work hard for things.  Good grades don't come naturally for him.  He has to study hard to maintain his GPA.  He also has to work hard on the ball field, where his natural talent and ability only take him so far.  He isn't that player that has scouts and coaches chasing after him.  He's good, but he isn't showy or flashy. I've always compared him to the tortoise in the old story of the tortoise and the hare.  Slow, steady, and determined to win his race.  This past weekend he attended a baseball camp at his top college pick.  He was determined to make a good impression on the coaches.  If  looking smooth, confident, and in control during fielding drills, hitting well in batting practice, and going three for three, scoring twice, and fielding like a pro in the simulated game they played was what it takes to leave a good impression, then he nailed it.  He left his whole heart on that field, knowing it was his one shot to show what he could do. Next he'll begin contacting coaches with letters of interest, letting them know a little bit about himself and that he's interested in playing college ball.  From there, if anyone is interested, he'll follow up with a letter of recommendation from Coach C, and hopefully the next step would be a try out and an offer to play.

I, being the sentimental mom that I am, got a little teary eyed when he hit send on that first email this morning.  I'm so proud of him, and I also admire him tremendously for having the courage to keep pursuing a dream.  So many people give up on their dreams, believing they just can't do it or that it isn't worth the hard work.  But my boy has never wavered in his determination.  There have been times when he's been tired, discouraged, or frustrated, but he's kept going.   He's sacrificed being a typical teenager at times in order to train and become the best player he can.  No matter what happens, he's going to know he gave it everything he had.  As for me, I believe in my heart J is meant to play ball.  It could be somewhere close to home or it could be hundreds of miles away.  No matter where it is, I'll send him off with a smile, knowing he's earned the chance to live out his dream.