Thursday, May 17, 2012

Pondering the Future

When it became apparent to hubby and I that J was not going to give up the dream of playing baseball, we made the decision to allow him to pursue that dream as far as he possibly could.  It wasn't a conventional decision, nor one we took lightly.  While allowing him to dream big, we also have to make sure he keeps a grip on reality.  While J is certainly a talented player, he's not one of those one in a million players who has so much natural ability that it simply outshines every other player on the field.  J has a mix of some God given talent, a passion for the game, and a good work ethic when it comes to achieving his dream.  It's been nearly a year since hubby and I first sat down with Coach C and talked to him about mentoring and coaching J on this unique journey.  I remember my eyes tearing up that evening when Coach C said he felt J had a shot at his dream if he was willing to work very hard.  J has had many ups and downs over the years with his baseball.  Some wonderful experiences, and some not so wonderful, including being told he would never be good enough to get anywhere with it.  As a mother, to have someone who not only believed in J like I do, but to be willing to help him make his dream a possible reality meant the world and more to me.  It still does.  Which brings me to the point of this post.  This summer is an important one for J.  He really needs to step up his game and polish the rough areas in order to take his game to the next level.  He needs to really give serious thought to where he'd like to go to college.  He also needs to try and match up his college choices with his baseball possibilities.  Being a Florida baseball player is both a blessing and a curse.  Everyone wants to come play in Florida, while northern schools love to get Florida players.  At this point, Coach C feels J's best chance for college ball is a division 2 or 3 school, likely up north.  If J continues to work really hard and starts to separate himself from the pack, who knows what can or will happen.  At this point, I feel like he should keep all of his options open, while doing some hard thinking about where he sees himself in two years time.  Over the course of the summer, Coach C, J, hubby, and I will have some serious discussions about the future and what J wants and the best plan of action to make it happen.  There are so many options out there, and it's time to start narrowing the choices and possibilities down.  For me, this is hard to think about because I know J will be leaving the nest soon.  He'll potentially go thousands of miles from home to pursue his dream.  And I'll let him go, no matter how much it will break my heart to watch him leave.  I never want him to have any regrets when it comes to this crazy dream he's been chasing since he was four years old.  I never want him to feel like I held him back simply because I wanted to keep him close for a little while longer.  Wherever he ends up, I'll send him off with a smile and a heart full of tears, knowing that he's making the best possible choice he can for himself.               

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